The wedding rules are changing with the times. Here’s everything you need to know about getting hitched in today’s world.
To Have Or Have Not
“Trends come and go and I haven’t seen the groom’s cake as much lately,” Stephanie notes. “If they do have one, they really go full force with a theme—fishing and hunting are popular here—and table decorations. If there is a groom’s cake, then the other is automatically labeled the bride’s. To me, a wedding is about a union. I say put both personalities into one cake.” Verdict: Have not, but if you must, go all out.
“Assigned seating just doesn’t work,” says Roxanne. “I can’t tell you how many times we’ve had a seating chart and someone is sat with someone they don’t want to sit with and it just snowballs from there. It actually ends up bringing attention to the exact issues you were trying to stay away from. It’s a challenge to perfect and it’s really just an unnecessary stress. Don’t overlook reserving tables for the bridal party, but overall open seating is easier.” Verdict: Have not.
The 1st Anniversary Cake Tier
Stephanie keeps detailed records of all her projects, which she recently used to create a miniaturized version of a wedding cake for a couple now celebrating their 10-year anniversary. “I’ve heard people say they saved the top and it was just as good, but we can make just the top tier fresh on their one year anniversary or make a batch of cupcakes in the same flavors.” Verdict: Have, but have it fresh.
Engagement photos can be a great trial run with the photographer before the wedding. “Photography is an investment,” Lisa points out. “It’s important to see if you work well with the photographer, if you have the same style ideas. Don’t wait until the day of to find out that you don’t have the same vision.” Verdict: Have
Save the Dates
Save the Dates were originally intended to give out of town guests enough of a heads up to make travel arrangements. “If most of your guests live in town and everyone knows you’re getting married, it’s not really a necessity,” Roxanne says. Verdict: If you’re inviting a lot of out-of-towners, have. If mostly locals, have not.
“Having a photo booth at your wedding reception is kind of genius,” Jesse notes. “It entertains and it’s a gift to your guests. When was the last time you got a photo with your grandmother or your aunt? They get a keepsake that they will hang on to. I see these on fridges and even in frames long after the wedding. Who holds on to the monogramed bubble container? Plus, the bride and groom get a photographic record of the people who attended their wedding that shows their personalities.” Verdict: Have
The Wedding Arch
“The lattice arch that you traditionally think of for weddings isn’t as popular,” Devorah at Enchanted Occasions says. “Either they don’t do it at all or they build something unique. I’ve seen people do cool things with lots of flowers. We also have Jewish chuppah, which is nice because you can really fit people under it.” Verdict: Have if it’s in your vision, but make it your own.
Hiring an event planner doesn’t necessarily mean they have to do everything. Roxanne says, “For brides that really want that hands-on experience, we can come in just for the day or the weekend or the week of and handle all those little last minute details you don’t want friends and family to have to do. If mom is off making sure the caterer is serving dinner on time, she might be missing out on a once-in-a-lifetime moment. What we really do is allow everyone to enjoy the day.” Verdict: Unless you’re a hardcore DIYer, have.
While E-vites are more and more common these days for birthdays and BBQs, Roxanne says for weddings, it’s really still not appropriate. “Unless it’s a last-minute, super casual, getting married at the courthouse thing, I think we should still maintain that little bit of formality and mail invites.” Verdict: We’re not quite there yet. Have not.