The New Wedding Rules of Etiquette

September 12, 2016 raguirre

Rules of Etiquette

Rules of Etiquitte For Guests

Put Your Cell Phones Away

Yes, movie theater rules are in effect during the ceremony, but the number one complaint Roxanne hears isn’t about ringing phones, it’s about arms and cell phones popping up in the background of professional shots, especially on the walk down the aisle. “Photographers are expensive, so to have their shot blocked by an arm is frustrating.”

No Unexpected Guests

The invite is intended for whomever it is addressed to, Roxanne points out: “If you can bring a guest, the invite will indicate that. Unless it says you may, don’t bring a plus one. People don’t realize how much that can mess with the food and budget.” On that note, don’t forget to RSVP.

Be On Time

“The ceremony is a very emotional point in the day. To have somebody sneak in and slam the door can be a huge distraction for the couple and the other guests. It’s just plain rude,” Roxanne says.

Don’t Touch the Cake

It should go without saying, but…“Cakes are so elaborate and extravagant these days that people seem to want to touch them and see if they’re real,” says Stephanie. “It’s kind of crazy, but it happens all the time.”

Be Careful with Names

It’s hard to say who is and isn’t changing their name these days. Even those that are planning on it, probably won’t get the paperwork done right away. Checks written out to a married name can be difficult to cash and if it’s written out to Mr. “and” Mrs., both parties need to be present, which can be difficult with work schedules. If you’re giving money, be safe and give cash, or write out checks with maiden names and “or” instead of “and.”

Thank You Notes Are Still a Must

Thank you notes can be included as part of your invite package, but even if you buy them separate, thank you notes are still a must. Try and get them out within three months of the wedding date and to really express your gratitude, handwrite a personalized note.

Make Appointments and Keep Them

You meet a lot of different people when planning a wedding and the best way to ensure you get their full attention is to set up an appointment. Most places allow walk-ins, but to really get their expertise, schedule a time to talk without distractions. And if you can’t make an appointment, a simple phone call to let them know goes a long way.


The receiving line isn’t really a thing anymore, so make the effort to get some face time with each of your guests. Chat, pose for silly photos, get out on the dance floor, and make memories with them because that’s what they are here for after all.

Don’t Be a Bridezilla

It’s great to come in with ideas and a vision, but also be flexible. Online ideas aren’t always realistic in particular seasons and venues, so be open to hearing what the experts have to say. They’ve done this before.


Rules of Etiquitte For the Happy Couple

Registry Info Has No Place on an Invite

“Do not put registry info in with invitations,” Roxanne implores. “It just doesn’t belong. Not on a separate card. Not on an info card. It’s just kind of rude. Registry info is strictly for showers or you can include it on your wedding website.”

Passé Practises

These Once Trendy Traditions are So Out

Blusher Veils

These short face-covering veils get in the way of that all-important first kiss. Opt for a double-layered veil instead.

A Sixpence or Penny in Your Shoe

Once considered lucky, this dated tradition is rarely seen anymore.

Double Envelopes

Don’t waste the money on an unnecessary formality. One envelope is less expensive and less wasteful.

Buying Your Dress Online

Modern day shopping caught on for a few seasons, but Roxanne says they are seeing a big shift back to in-store shopping: “The expectations of what they think they are getting and what they actually receive are rarely one in the same. Plus, they miss out on that experience of trying on dresses.”

Keeping the Tradition Alive

Most couples are still adhering to the old superstition about not seeing each other before the ceremony. Photographer Lisa Mayhew-Ortiz says she hasn’t seen many people jumping on board with the idea of taking couple portraits before the ceremony so bride and groom can get right to the reception after. “It always depends on what time allows, but we almost never do portraits before the ceremony. I do, however, get requests for what I call ‘wall photos’ where the bride and groom are on opposite sides of a wall so they can’t see each other, but they are holding hands.”

The post The New Wedding Rules of Etiquette appeared first on Las Cruces Magazine.

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